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  • Writer's pictureAutumn Simmons

Interracial Dating

This topic and the very nature of "swirling" as some term interracial dating, continues to trigger a variety of emotions and insular opinions due to race, which is largely associated with ones identity.

As the creator, executive producer, writer and star of my own sitcom web series, I have been asked why I chose to cast an Italian actor to portray my love interest. For the record, Desiree has had two dates within the series with two African-American male characters prior, one of which was an ex-boyfriend.

But back to the question at hand. I shall keep the identity of the individual, who posed this question to me anonymous, however, I will disclose that this individual happened to be a Black man, who is gay. Initially, I thought his question was curious, a gay Black man has an issue with Desiree dating a white guy?

Nevertheless, he went on to express that he was not accustomed to seeing Black women with non-Black men, but would have been more at ease with the choice if Desiree's love interest had been Hispanic or Latino. I presume that the latter would have been the exception because Hispanic or Latino is a little closer to being Black. LOL

Let's keep it one-hundred, interracial or multicultural dating for Black women is not a new condition. Statistics indicate that Black men are three times as likely to date, marry and to procreate outside their race. This double standard that many Black males hold towards Black women for dating or marrying interracially is ridiculous.

First, Black women do not need the approval or permission of Black men or other Black people to date, marry or to procreate outside the race. Black women do not belong to Black men or the Black culture. We are not property or objects of possession. Our decision to engage interracially has absolutely nothing to do with you. Stop making our personal decisions about you.

I exercised my prerogative to showcase Desiree in an interracial dating scenario because frankly, I can, but more importantly, it feels normal to me.

While growing up in the Eighties and Nineties, I have always felt an attraction and kinship towards people from various racial, ethnic or cultural backgrounds in spite of being raised African-American because I was surrounded by people from different persuasions.

Fortunately, I was blessed to have a great Black father and a cultured Black mother, who taught me a great deal about my heritage and culture. Nonetheless, I am proud to be a Black woman, but I refuse to live by the standards and expectations of others, especially those who are arrogantly ignorant and closed-minded.

Without a doubt, being a black woman presents many challenges. Collectively, Black women receive considerable opposition from outsiders and those within the so-called Black tribe whether directly or indirectly. A majority of the adversity we presently face actually comes from frustrated Black males, who often hate themselves and project this hatred and negativity onto Black women.

Consequently, many Black females engage in the same backbiting tactics in response to this collective hatred, which has created a dysfunctional cycle of savage rivalry, anger and bitterness.

The pressure to sustain oneself as a Black woman is incredible. However, I feel that through education, determination and introspection, along with the willingness to expand our consciousness, progress can be made.

We cannot change others, we can only changes ourselves. As we shift through this new wave of divine feminine energy, it is extremely important for women and girls to question everything we have been taught to believe about ourselves, including what we are capable of.

As a woman, especially a woman of color, you do not have to accept a role of servitude, like a slave, for the enjoyment or pleasures of others, all the while, denying yourself happiness or the desire to seek and to obtain whatever brings you fulfillment.

When it comes to dating, date whomever respects and honors you regardless of their skin color, race, ethnicity or creed. Discernment of character and integrity should be the main focus as it pertains to dating, partnering or even a commitment. Negativity and toxicity breeds in all persuasions, especially amongst the so-called tribe.

Stay mindful,


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